If I had a nickel for every time I pulled a hamstring chasing after my 18-month-old through the bras at Victoria’s Secret (he’s clearly a boob man) while my 5-year-old threw a fit because I wouldn’t buy her a horse/iPad/ice skates/sprinkled doughnut/cat food (we don’t even have a cat) …… and then looked up to see a woman who has been staring at me for God knows how long, giving me that thoughtful, nostalgic and knowing stare. You know the look. And then it’s like clockwork. 3…2….1…
“Enjoy this time. It goes by so fast.”
There it is.
Really? You mean this moment, right now when I have broken a sweat in the underwear aisle, can barely hear you because my children are acting like wild banchees and have completely forgotten why I came here in the first place??? Because it sure doesn’t feel like it. Vacations in Cabo, an hour of True Blood, a toddler’s nap… those things go by fast. But when a trip to Target makes you feel like you just finished the ironman, it is hard to think about cherishing this time in your and your children’s lives.
In response to the comment, I always smile as politely as possible, fend off whatever I am randomly being hit in face with, and move along to the next aisle of merchandise we can destroy in private. Knowing full well, that no, it doesn’t go by fast at all. Raising kids is a long, tedious, and mostly thankless job that gets paid in butterfly kisses and toothless smiles.
I can’t tell you how many times this exact scenario has taken place. No matter how bad the tantrum, how loud the squealing, or how close to the edge of insanity I look, still the same look, followed by the same comment. I understood the basic sentiment but there was no way that I could fully understand the meaning until Monday…
Monday was my daughters first day of kindergarten. Now, I get it. At least I have a better understanding than I did before.
When I used to think of this day, I pictured myself frolicking in a field of tulips surrounded by unicorns and fairies. Ok not quite, but I thought I would be in a much more celebratory mood instead of feeling like I had been repeatedly punched in the stomach.
It happened just like that. One minute my husband and I were arguing over how to strap her in for the ride home from the hospital and the next, she was running full throttle to the bus with a backpack almost bigger than her with an ear to ear smile ready to greet whatever comes her way. I felt myself wishing that I shared her enthusiasm for the unknown.
As I watched the bus drive away with this tiny, amazing being that I have not let out of my sight for the past 5 years I couldn’t help but feel the enormity of the situation. There was a completely empty feeling in every fiber of my being.
I kept wondering why I felt so sad. Isn’t this the time that I should be shouting from the mountain tops? Kindergarten is the first step to her making her way to the oval office after all.
My mom has always said that “you give your kids roots to grow and also the wings to fly”. I always thought I would be ready to do this, until I actually had to and it rocked my world.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am the kind of mom that has had trips to the gym solely for the purpose of free babysitting. I have given myself a time out. Going to Costco by myself feels like Christmas. I am like every other mom giving our all (and then some) 24/7 trying to make our kids into the most awesome human beings we possibly can.
When we got to the school, I watched my little monkey run to the playground with the wild abandon that she does everything else. I smiled to myself thinking of all the days that felt like they would never end and all the things I have told her repeatedly until I felt like I was blue in the face. I looked over and realized that I wasn’t alone. I wish that group hugs were socially acceptable, because there were at least 5 moms and dads that desperately needed one.
We were all crying behind our sunglasses, trying to project the strongest, most supportive looks we could give, acting like this was just another day.
And it was in that moment that I turned to one of the moms and wanted to say “it goes by so fast, doesn’t it?”
As the mother of a recent kindergarten graduate and a college graduate, I can tell you it does go by way to fast. I remember just like it was yesterday dropping my daughter off for her first day of kindergarten. I just watched her graduate from college in May. I can not begin to comprehend where the time goes. Just yesterday it seems she was that toddler in Target throwing an epic tantrum while stunned onlookers gazed in amazement that someone so cute and small could turn into the tasmanian devil in just seconds. So, take it from someone who has already been through it all, it really does go by in a split second. And I promise you one day you will find yourself smiling and telling a frustrated young mother to enjoy every second because it goes by so fast.
My oldest starts 7th grade this year. I vacillate between excitement for her and a feeling of sheer dread. How did she get this old? How did I get this old? Wasn’t she JUST born? Only 6 years of school left until she leaves for college?!
It DOES go by fast. It’s the days that are long.
I love you!
I have had these same exact sentiments so many times…you put it perfectly! A friend told me…after a sleepless night with my baby and a tirade filled day with my toddler, that “the days are long but the years are too fast” and I couldn’t agree more! It’s heartbreaking, dumbfounding, pure joy, soul-filling…quite the wild ride! Thanks for relating to so many of us
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