Passionate About the Community
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Sorry Mom, But You Are Not Enough

You are NOT Enough. There are days this phrase reverberates through my mind like an air hockey puck, hitting all sides of my brain, as I chase it down to stop the lies.

We’re the first to judge ourselves over a messy laundry room, a disastrous kitchen. The first to speak negative thoughts to condemn, the first to judge harshly, speak critically.

Would you talk to a friend in this manner? No way, and yet here we are, tearing down our inner selves, like a building demolition, carefully placing dynamite in calculated corners to assure a complete takedown.

I organized my disastrous closet the other day, sifting through mounds of fitted sheets, miscellaneous legos and misplaced laundry that I had quickly hidden from unexpected guests.

It felt as though the piles of laundry represented the chaos of my life.

Arriving to an appointment late, turning in a project with minutes to spare, remembering in Costco that today was an early release at school.

I was behind the 8 ball at every turn. And that’s when the cheerleader of others became the critic to myself. Get your act together, girl. Can’t you do anything right? The coulda, shoulda, woulda of life had me in a stronghold. And that’s when I heard, Sorry, But You’re Not Enough.

And in that moment, a photo of my younger self fell off the shelf and hit me like a ton of bricks. This picture brought back the memory of me sitting on a swing at Six Flags over Georgia, with the biggest grin on my face, representing a rather large accomplishment three days earlier.

I had picked and shelled a 5 gallon bucket full of peas from my grandmother’s garden, in the sultry 95 degree heat and sold them to a farmer’s market to pay for my ticket.

Beaming with pride, that little girl persevered through the tough times, something few other kids were willing to do, to earn the prize.

An innocent 11 year old who thought the road ahead would be filled with excitement and adventure, if she remained steadfast and determined.

And here I am, reminding this little girl in an older version of herself, that you’re Not Enough. I looked into the eyes of this innocent child and thought, how dare you. We need more You’s in this world; more kindness, more spunk, a “sky is the limit” mentality.

That’s when I made the conscious effort to find that little girl again.

Encourage her, thank her, compliment and console, praise, reassure and applaud her efforts.

This little girl now has more responsibilities than one person should ever take on, and yet she’s right in the thick of it, blessing, loving, nurturing, guiding, counseling, instructing, supporting and cultivating.

Would I speak to my daughter this way? No. And yet here I am, berating myself.

Charles Fernyhough, author of The Voices Within: The History & Science of How We Talk to Ourselves, wrote, “We can talk to ourselves in our heads around 10 times faster than we can speak out loud.”

Life and death are on the tongue, but apparently, it’s also in our thoughts, our inner voice.
We can learn a lot from our younger selves. From the girl who took risks, lived life with arms wide open and did it because she could, I will cling to you with all my might.  

I promise to honor and protect you.

I’ll never take for granted that little pea pickin’ girl, who had her eye on the prize. She believed she could, and she did. Let’s embrace the girl within.

If you could look back at the younger version of you, with the sparkle in her eye, what would she say to you?

Without a care in the world, as we hung from the monkey bars on the playground, she would say:  Hey, you’ve got this. You are Enough!

Here’s to Living the Best Version of You.

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2 Responses to Sorry Mom, But You Are Not Enough

  1. Judy LeMarr February 15, 2018 at 12:40 pm #

    This is such an important read! While this absolutely applies to moms I think it can easily apply to so many of us in general. This is key — “Would you talk to a friend in this manner? No way” It’s amazing how harsh we can be to ourselves, a friend we spoke to in that same way would never stick around. We are always listening to our self-talk so it’s of the utmost importance that we watch what we say!

    • Stephanie May 25, 2018 at 9:22 am #

      You are exactly right. Thanks for taking the time to read. Have a fabulous summer.

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