What happened to the fun me?
In the midst of the day-to-day routines of marriage, kids, work, and shuttling between schedules, we often get caught up in just getting through the day and getting stuff done.
Even though we all go through these stages, many of us long for and miss that other side of ourselves that we once knew much more intimately: Fun Girl. You remember Fun Girl – the one who said yes, who spiced it up, who danced, who flirted, who waxed.
Why does it seem so hard to be her? The simple answer is because Fun Girl requires energy, feeling good in our body, and having enough time to not be rushed. It’s no wonder she can feel like a distant memory of a different life.
Don’t beat yourself up when your inner “Ideal Mom and Wife” quickly points out how much more fun we could be having with our kids, that we could be looking better, that we should be sexier and more flirtatious. Since Fun Girl doesn’t run on too-little-sleep, coffee, and sugar, she can easily be left under the bed.
Being a mom is much more physically and emotionally challenging then many of us expected, and the reality is that we can’t be it all, all of the time. Yet we often yearn for this fun part of ourselves as much as our men and children want it from us.
When you are ready, here are ways to bring back Fun Girl.
Amp Up the Self-Care: Make a commitment to yourself to take care of you. Get a pedi, take a bath, dance in your living room, take a yoga class, wear something that has you feel feminine, do your hair. Activities that have us in our bodies and feeling pretty and pampered naturally bring out the girly within.
Sleep: There is no such thing as a tired fun girl. Even if you can’t get the ideal amount of sleep, aim for enough. Put the to-do list down and go to bed. The more rested we are, the more energy we have to play, laugh, and spice it up.
Add Transition Time: Despite motherhood being seen as quintessentially feminine, we often find ourselves feeling like strong mama bear – protecting, providing, shuttling & juggling. Whether you are picking up your kids after a day of work or leaving for a date with your man, allot at least 15 extra minutes to get your zen on. A quick meditation, a change of clothes, some uplifting music or fresh make-up can shift us from hunter-mode to fun, present, available mode.
Just Say Yes: Jump on the trampoline, play tag, say yes to girls night, let your husband see you naked. While we may feel some initial resistance to the invitation, we are often pleasantly surprised by how good it feels to Let It Go.
Ask Yourself, “What would Girlfriend do?” When we were “girlfriend,” our relationship was shiny and new, and most of us didn’t have kids or the often-overwhelming accountability of parenthood. And as we all know, there are some things we did as girlfriend that we would thankfully never do again! Still, that side of us sometimes needs a little tap on the shoulder. Girlfriend may have put in a little more effort, dressed up, acted more playfully. So the next time you’re getting dressed, picking out underwear, making plans, or your husband gives you the come-hither look, consider what girlfriend would do – and you may be surprised by the inner Fun Girl who comes out to play!