Want To Thrive? Do These 5 Things

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SpaceWhether you are one to create New Year’s resolutions or not, most of us put some thought into what we want to change, create, accomplish or be in the new year. And why not? There is great collective energy we can ride at the beginning of a fresh and sparkly new year. But when trying to create the new on top of the old, our intentions lose juice pretty quickly.

Creating space is one of the key elements to have our intentions thrive.

De-clutter: Create space in your physical environment. Clear the space, clean your house, burn sage, clean out your closet, clear the deck for the New Year. Not motivated? Start with a corner, 20 minutes and a trash bag and see how far you get. Go through your closet and with each item ask, “Does this make me happy?” “Does this represent who I am today?” If not, give it away to someone who would say yes to these questions. Clearing out our physical space does wonders for our creative ability, peace of mind, emotional capacity and overall well-being. Added Mom Bonus: Being present for our child’s latest creation and not distracted by the lurking mess that is calling to us from behind every closet door.

You don't have to be at a labyrinth to meditate
You don’t have to be at a labyrinth to meditate

Meditate: Create space in your mind. Before you skip to the next one, give me one minute to make my case of this one. Stopping to take even 5-10 minutes a day to breathe and be still can, in addition to a long list of benefits, heighten intuition, creativity, and problem-solving and reduce stress. When our mind is cluttered, we go back to the same reactions, habits and state of confusion. If you don’t know where to start, YouTube has great meditation videos of all lengths. If you need some hope, I literally couldn’t sit still for more than 2 minutes when I started and am now at a minimum of 15 minutes. Added Mom Bonus: Patience, intuition, clarity… and your kids may even take up the practice. My 5 and 8 year olds laugh their way through it but ask on their own if they can meditate before bed. Beats whiskey.

Calendar Happy: Create space in your calendar and fill it with YES! Remembering that our time and energy is precious and limited lets us be more discerning about what we spend it on. Clear your schedule of anything that doesn’t fuel you, and fill it with what and who does. This sets you up for having your life energize your soul versus sucking the energy out of us. When our children are young and our days require the physical and mental abilities of an Olympian, WHO we spend time with becomes extra critical. “Does this person lift me up?” If the answer is no, pass. Choosing what NOT to spend our time on can be as important as what we do. Nothing zaps our New Year’s resolution to be a kinder and more patient human than rushing and having no foreseeable free time in our calendar. Adding 15 extra minutes between activities, leaving a little early, and blocking out unscheduled time gives us the capacity for grace and ease in the every day amazing race that is parenthood. Added Mom Bonus: Not having your 4-year-old drop the f-bomb at preschool. For a review of the best online calendar systems, check out one of our previous articles here!

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Create space to notice love!

Get It Out of Your Head: Create space in your ever-working mind. Research cites that as humans we have between 12K and 50K thoughts per day, and most are random and, for many, negative. Creating New Year’s intentions or resolutions in a swamp of thoughts starts to feel like trying to run through a mud pit. One way to clear your mind is to grab a note pad and write down what’s constantly on your mind. At the end of the day, take each item and either do it, plan it in real time on your calendar or put it on a “I’m not doing this right now” list. Added Mom Bonus: Actually scheduling those dentist appointments and finally admitting you are never signing yourself up for the pole dancing class.

Be Free of Resentments: Create space in your heart. A few years ago my New Year’s intention was, “The year of no resentment.” It changed my life and I re-declare it every year. Resentment is the killer of love, connection, friendship and romance. It’s the weed in the garden that eventually takes over if not pulled from the root. Where to start? When we have resentment we usually aren’t seeing the whole picture. A great question to ask ourselves when we start to feel the tinge of resentment is, “Is that really true?” Then play Make a Case. When the gnarly weed of resentment rears, pretend you are the other person’s attorney and make a case for them. What could be their good reason for doing that? Why does it make sense that they did that? What would be 2-3 cases you would make for them in Court (this works for children too). You will probably still need to have the conversation, work it out and possibly seek a third party if the roots have gotten tangled, but seeing the whole picture and the other side takes us a long way towards resolution. Added Mom Bonus: Love and connection begets love and connection.

However you start the New Year, even if it’s with a hangover, remember you can always push the pause button at any point in the year, clear the space and recreate.

Wishing you a bright and beautiful 2015!

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Jaime Myers
Jaime Myers is the Founder of Shine Life Design and Queen Mom LLC, and is a Licensee for PAX Programs, an organization dedicated to peace and partnership between the sexes. Leading courses on being your best self and having extraordinary relationships, Jaime has spent the last 15 years mastering the distinctions of masculine and feminine, partnership and self-empowerment. She has also participated in other transformational disciplines since 1994 including being a Staff Member for Landmark Education. With a vision to support women in honoring themselves and have happy, soul filled lives, and known for her humor, clarity and authenticity, Jaime delivers from the heart. She lives with her husband, Seth, and two young sons. You can follow her on her Shine blog.