I once heard a wise teacher say in passing that parents often have ridiculous expectations on their children. He said he sees them yelling at their kids TO SHARE. But they have never taken the time to teach them to share. Here is a toy. You play with it, and I will watch you enjoy it. Then it will be my turn. I will play with the toy, and you can watch me enjoy it. Then it can be your turn again. This is called sharing.
We don’t do that. We rarely slow down to teach our children how to do the things we expect them to do. We think they will pick it up passively. Our expectations at times can be so unrealistic.
This week there was a commotion in our playroom. I went running and all too quickly I began reprimanding two of my four kiddos that were at the center of the chaos.
Mommy fail. I got that look. That deer in the headlights look that tells me they don’t know why I am upset. I had obviously failed to teach them how to navigate such a situation. Their apparent wrong choice was honestly more annoying to me than anything. The person I was really frustrated with was myself.
I have to stop and ask myself is this wisdom I have not yet imparted to them or is this a deliberate disobedience to a rule. Those two seconds will allow for our hearts to be connected in learning and in correction. I apologized and we enjoyed some snuggle time. Learning as a mom is one of the best and most humbling aspects of my fantastic job.
Gosh… what a timely post Cate! So appreciate the wisdom in this. Thanks!
preaching to myself. every day. 🙂
I raised my voice last week out of exhaustion and Baylor responded “I was just asking a question, I didn’t want to get yelled at.” and then started crying. It broke my heart. I wasn’t listening to what she was asking and was too quick to flip out. My husband gave me the nicest complement this weekend when he said I had much more patience with a new situation than he would have had – as long as we learn from and change our actions, then that’s all we can do!
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