Women today are self-reliant and independent, but we often forget how friendships and family can make life rich and full.
When I was single, living in Wisconsin (for just 10 months), I lived with a foxhound named Rolex in a very cool bungalow-style home built in the 1920s. I learned so much from living alone (like how to pay someone to shovel snow off my driveway, or how good it feels to pay rent). But the biggest lesson I take to heart, even now, is that no matter how well I can manage on my own, I still need and thrive on relationships with people. In fact, it is my relationships with others that enrich the flavor of my life like salt on watermelon.
I lived through months of isolation. Aside from the people I saw at work, I barely saw anyone else. I managed with the help of e-mail, phone calls, volunteerism and some outings with co-workers. I traveled a lot and socialized with the people I met on the road. But, I didn’t realize just how out of touch I was until a coworker-mentor-type woman gave me a pat on the back. She walked up to me and said “good job” or something and just touched my shoulder. I was astonished that I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been hugged, high-fived or even just sat and chatted about things that matter. It meant a lot to me and helped me to realize how isolated I’d become.
When Kevin and I were first married, I remember being thankful for his little messes (leaving his socks on the floor or dishes on the sink). (I know, I’m silly.) Those messes were a symbol to me that someone was around. (Okay, not just someone, but my HUSBAND. Now, I do have to remind myself of that from time to time.)
Being isolated is one of the toughest battles moms can face. We are tied to naps, tugged on by this or that commitment. Looking to keep little hands busy. Exhausted by lack of sleep. Just trying to make it through until bedtime. In the midst of the chaos, it can be difficult to find friendships and remember that we (and our children) need to be working members of a great community.
I think this article is very true. Thanks Joy! Relationships are something that we have to be deliberate about. It’s just too easy to get isolated in out fast paced society. Friendahips always take work, but especially now. I know moms are busy, and the last thing they feel like doing is more work, but having meaningful relationships is worth it!
What a fantastic article! As a mom of twins plus one I know how easy the situation can be to isolate yourself when at home with the kids. I looked forward to just once a month meeting with other twin moms. Now that I am working outside the home again I feel I have found myself again, and finding how much I missed that woman inside me as well as missed having friends, a true social life outside of social media. I think the internet is fabulous but also very damning for women who are in an isolated situation. Nothing compares to real human, face-to-face contact and relationships. Love this post!
For this exact reason I hope we can all plan more play dates for kids as well as us!
Thank you.
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