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Mom Guilt, Comparison Traps: 7 Reasons We Feel Isolated

I sat on the end of my bed in tears, with 3 kids in tow, a supportive spouse and a good life, but something was missing. I had started a Video Production Co. a year earlier, and with the juggles and struggles of work/family balance, deciphering how many ways to cook a chicken, and dropping off 3 kids at pre-school, keeping up with the Joneses seemed an impossible task.

I felt isolated. Don’t get me wrong: there were people all around, but the connections of like-minded women, discussing, listening, the “I’ know how you feel – I’ve got your back” sort of connection, was missing. Deep rooted relationships had fallen by the wayside. I had become an expert plate spinner, swirling in “organized” chaos, but it turns out, it was just chaos.  

Suddenly, I found myself separated from the human race with little beings needing my full attention and sleepless nights had become the lowly standard.

My carpool attire had become LuLu Lemon with a ponytail. But most days, it wasn’t even that. I found myself in the midst of moms who made motherhood look easy.

As I reached out for advice, tips, and authenticity, I found myself listening to women up the ante on how their pre-schooler was learning Japanese. Another, multiplications. Seriously?

My child wasn’t potty trained, their first word was Hurry, and I caught one eating dirt in the backyard.

I fell into a depression, too vulnerable to show my vulnerability, rather I padded myself with isolation. The perfect breeding ground for disconnection.

Social media and decorating sites created the perfect storm for mom guilt, judgment and comparison traps, reflecting only the beautiful parts of life, the most perfect angles, vacation spots, and happiest moments. There were few pictures of moms struggling, laughing about their mistakes, posting pics of destroyed laundry rooms or applauding you for being the “World’s Okayest” mom.

     

My husband looked at me and said: You should write, post and blog about these issues. Become your own answer. And that week, spitupandheels.com came to life. The Solution:  Authentic Relationships! Find your tribe, your people. And celebrate.

It’s been my goal to help other moms connect, laugh, relate, discuss and empower one another through authenticity, vulnerability and intentional living.

Recently, I found myself at a Scottsdale Mom’s Blog media event with Tisha Pelletier. She’s started a mom entrepreneur organization, the Gal’s Inspiration Hub, for the very purpose of serving moms/women in business, creating a landing place to share and connect. The perfect community for like-minded women who understand both the mom-life and the entrepreneurial spirit.

          The Importance of Connections

And it’s not your typical networking group, rather a place for women to meet, share, listen, speak, create and build a tribe, empowering women and motivating them to take on the world.

Tisha believes so deeply in this effort, she hosts an annual Signature Event, the Summer Self-Care Spa Retreat – for women to take a day for themselves, incorporate self-care and connect with other amazing women.  

When asked about her passion for starting this organization, she was looking for a space in business that allowed for the “authentic” me, rather than the “impressive” me. And thus it was formed: the Gal’s Inspiration Hub.  

It’s so easy for us women to fall out of the pack and go it alone. Don’t allow vulnerability to create isolation, rather let it empower you, catapult you to greater levels. Per the abundantmama.com there are various reasons for isolation.

7 Reasons We Find Ourselves Isolated

1. Comparison Traps
2. Money
3. Socializing is Difficult
4. Your Kids Ages & Stages
5. Geography
6. You Don’t Think Like Other Moms
7. Feel Too Vulnerable to Share

Don’t worry about what others think. “Those who MIND, Don’t Matter and those who MATTER, Don’t MIND” – Bernard Baruch. Splash color on life and allow yourself to be the real deal.  

We need more Authentic YOU’s in this world. Besides, dirt never hurt anyone and why is it important to keep up with the Jones’s anyway?  Here’s to living the Best Version of You!  Tell us how you connect with other moms.

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