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You’re Still a Mama On Mother’s Day, even after Baby Loss

Mother’s Day is a special day to show love and appreciation for all that motherhood and mothers mean to us. Everyone acknowledges our great contribution to the world and society for bringing life into the world. Our children are babies, toddlers or possibly even adults. We celebrate with our children and we proudly carry our badge of motherhood through our living, walking, visibly present children. But what about the mothers who have invisible children who only live in their hearts and minds? Do we celebrate and acknowledge them as well? Here’s how we can support baby loss mamas this Mother’s Day.

Know that Mother’s Day Is Painful

I never knew that Mother’s Day could be anything but joy until it happened to me. Our second born was born sleeping at thirty-one weeks and since then I’ve learned that motherhood is complicated to say the least. On one hand I joyfully celebrate that I am mother to our vibrant first born son. On the other hand I feel a deep pain on Mother’s Day for the son that I can only silently hold in my heart. Motherhood is not gentle for some and usually there is a deep silent pain on this holiday for mothers who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death. I find that I am lucky to have a living son to hold on to on Mother’s Day but many others out there do not. Take a moment to remember that friend or family member who has a baby in their heart but not in their arms and know that there is pain where there should’ve been joy. 

Acknowledge the Baby In Her Heart

Has a dear friend or family member confided the loss of her baby to you? If so, then by all means bring it up on Mother’s Day. Unfortunately our society has taught us that baby loss should be kept hush hush in fear of causing further pain to the bereaved. This couldn’t be farther from the truth! If a baby loss mama has confided in you about this very intimate and personal event in her life, she will welcome any and all acknowledgement of her baby gone too soon. If her baby has a name that you know of, please call them by name. It very possibly will bring a tear to her eye, but it was also make her day.

Send Some Love

Write her a quick note, send her a quick text or send her some flowers. Acknowledging that she is a mother and that you know that about her will help ease some of that pain she already feels on Mother’s Day. Share an encouraging word about her baby and let her know that she and baby are in your thoughts that day. Let her know this  Mother’s Day that you are thinking of her.

Share My Printable Baby Loss Journal

If you still have absolutely no idea what to say or do for her this holiday, then download my free printable Baby Loss Journal here and share it with all baby loss mamas this Mother’s Day. Wishing everyone a  healing mother’s day this year! 

Useful Hashtags: #mayweallheal #bereavedmothersday #whathealsyou

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2 Responses to You’re Still a Mama On Mother’s Day, even after Baby Loss

  1. Judy LeMarr May 10, 2017 at 1:09 pm #

    A very well-written read on a delicate, but important matter. This is not something that we see, or hear, discussed very often but it is absolutely something that is deeply important for many, many women and the people who love them. Thank you for sharing.

    • Lizette
      Lizette May 14, 2017 at 1:34 pm #

      Thank you Judy for sharing that comment. We definitely don’t hear this very often and it is a perspective that could use a bit more awareness. Mothers and motherhood comes in all shapes and sizes. It is my hope that we as mothers can become more empathetic on the subject of pregnancy loss as we celebrate motherhood today.

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