According to my bio here at SMB, I have two kiddos. 🙂 My husband and I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old. Our 5 year old is starting kindergarten this school year. He did attend full day Pre-K last year, so we feel the band-aid has been ripped off for us. While Kindergarten is very much a big deal, our son has already done this rodeo and is ready to jump back on the horse. I will absolutely shed a tear for my growing first-born on this day, but I hope I won’t be in the fetal position and ugly crying this time. *Fingers crossed*
Our daughter is preparing to attend preschool two mornings a week. She will be 3 in October, and initially it was my plan to keep her at home with me for this next year. Seeing that she is likely our final kiddo, I wasn’t quite ready to part ways in the name of school, but she is showing so many signs of readiness, and I think that school will be great for her socially. So, off she goes.
With one kid in school full time, and the other in school part time, this translates to SIX WHOLE HOURS of me being sans children. Can I be honest? While I have had dreams of this day coming (on really loud and rough days), I don’t quite know what to do with myself.
On one hand, I am doing cartwheels through my house. I can’t remember the last time I peed alone, or had two stints of THREE CONSECUTIVE HOURS alone. Once we enrolled our daughter in her preschool, I had visions of child free coffee dates, barre classes, grocery shopping, and uninterrupted browsing at Nordstrom Rack dancing through my head. I might have a chance at collecting an entire thought for once, before it is shattered by my children screaming over who’s turn it is to press the garage door button.
On the other hand, this new schedule is terrifying to me. At least one of my babies have been at my side at all times. They are almost an extension of my body at this point. It is all that I have known for 5 years. Everywhere I go, a small person goes with me. While there are many days my children drive me to the brink of insanity, I love them fiercely and I know that our time together is flying by. Like most moms, time away from my kids equates to guilt.
It is a tangled web we weave as parents. Swept up in love and emotions one minute, and threatening to yank your child out of the world you brought them into the next. You come home from the hospital with a crying bundle of fun that has no instruction book, and you find yourself wondering when this sweet screaming lunatic will have some independence. Then, one day, the independence comes along and slaps you in the face whether you are prepared for it or not. It is a lot to reconcile when the time does arrive.
While I will struggle internally with my babies getting bigger and having time apart, did anyone want to meet at Starbucks and then head over to Nordstrom Rack?