I attended a friend’s wedding with the man who later became my husband. During the father-daughter dance, he leaned over and announced “that has to be one of the single best moments of having a daughter.” I was sold – if I married this man, I knew that he would be an amazing father.
After we tied the knot, I quickly learned that we are a team. We talk through big decisions and discussed the transitions our life may encounter. I suspected my husband might be an involved parent, and felt that we would still be a team once our daughter was born. I counted on him 100%.
What I didn’t count on were the moments he would be a better parent than I could manage. Here is how:
- He wakes up with her every time. He hears her before I do, even though the monitor is on my side of the bed. In the middle of the night. In the morning. During naps. He hears her, goes to her and calms her. Even when I nursed, he woke up every time, changed her diaper, while I walked to the bathroom, and then handed her to me. Sure, there are times when I wake up and he doesn’t. Or rough nights where I have taken her downstairs with me so that he doesn’t wake up (he drives big equipment and needs sleep). But the majority of the time—he wakes up. And does so happily.
- He is much better at cleaning the diapers. I didn’t push too hard to convince him to do cloth diapers and I anticipated a much larger battle. Especially dealing with the poop. Who would have guessed? My husband is a master at using the diaper sprayer. He always remembers to switch it off (I do not always remember) and is incredibly thorough at getting them clean.
- He has boundless energy to play with her. Maybe it is her cuteness factor, but as soon as she looks up at him, he gets down on the floor to play with her. Every. Single. Time. He doesn’t stress about stuff that needs to get finished around the house (like I do), or use the excuse that he is burnt out from work. They play with cars, Legos, puzzles and books. And she is happy as can be.
I’m not saying I’m a bad mom—I have my strengths too. I’m the one that cuts her nails, primarily gives her a bath and crafts with her.
I didn’t expect my husband to be so adept at this dad thing. Who knew? Who knew I wouldn’t have reason to complain about my husband not doing his part? Who knew he would be comfortable loading her up and taking her with him to meet up with the guys for a bite to eat while I had some much-needed alone time?
I know a lot of focus is put on working moms who have “two full-time jobs.” But there are also a whole lot of dads who pitch in—take an equal share of the load and make parenting that much more enjoyable. I am delighted to have my husband on my team.
Do you think your husband is the better parent?