How to Cure the Part-Time Blues

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Part-time Blues

I remember the days I dreamt of having a part-time job. When I worked full-time, with two young children and one on the way, I  fantasized about cuddly moments with the kids. All the things we would do together – music classes, playdates and visiting the library.

When my youngest son was born, I decided to stay home. During most of my last trimester and the early part of my maternity leave, I thought staying at home worked for me. And, then, I slowly realized it wasn’t working.

I wanted it to be me, but something was — gasp — missing.  I felt a pull back to my computer to check my work emails compulsively. I called my friends to hear the crazy office gossip. I decided to talk to my amazing boss and he agreed to let me come back on a part-time schedule, to the job I loved and the employer for which I had worked for 10 years.

So, everything was perfect. Right? Except it still wasn’t. Now I had the part-time blues. Sometimes at the school drop-off line, I arrived dressed in my work attire and makeup ready so I could head into the office. Sometimes I had workout clothes and a jogging stroller with baby in tow. Sometimes I felt like fit in with the moms; other times I didn’t. At work, I participated in some work-related events, but sometimes I missed out. Part of the club, but also not…

After a year of this schedule, I learned about being a part-time employee, part-time SAHM.  In my experience, you can never really be part-time at either job. There is always something that needs to be done at work and always someone who needs you at home. You feel torn. You wonder if you should just choose a side. At times, part-time anything seemed like more work than it is worth.

Here are my guidelines on how to cure the part-time blues: 

Go easy on yourself. There are times I feel bad that I am not in the “cool” mom’s circle at pick up – I do not have the intense relationships forged over countless playdates to the zoo and park, I am not in the know about little Abbey’s birthday, or the joint teacher gift, or when early release is for school. The same feeling appears at work. Happy hours are usually hard and many times I no longer get the inside jokes, unless they are based on historical happenings.

Remember you asked for this. There is a reason I craved part-time employment. I wanted to be there for pick ups (when possible), practices (when able) and mid-day Valentine’s Day parties in the classroom. But I also desired the thrill of landing a TV segment or major magazine placement, crafting the perfect intro to a press release or knowing that a pitch was just perfect for a certain journalist.

Give it time. At first, juggling nanny schedules, drop-off times and work appointments, I thought “there is no way this can work.” It was much harder than throwing myself fully into either world. But then I would have an “aha” moment. I would be there for practice, and something hilarious or special or poignant would happen. I would be at work, and a major “win” would come through. And I would think, this makes sense.

Cut (some) corners. I can’t do everything exactly the way I always have. Some work just doesn’t get done in the office and at home. The house is sometimes messy. So are my files at the office.

But, more often than not, it works out.

I would love to hear from some of the other part-time folks out there. What is working for you? What is challenging?

7 COMMENTS

  1. Kim, I can relate and agree. I left full time engineering without kids to work part time with a toddler and baby at home. Then, when life got too crazy for me and the house was too messy, I stayed at home full time for 5 years and volunteered in places where I could for that little extra personal booster. However, I still wanted to work. So, I put on my thinking cap and searched for jobs at the kids’ school. I get the best of both worlds! The only draw back is I need to find a sub to chaperone on field trips. Crazy! Anyways, giving it time, reminding yourself you wanted this, accepting more mess at home, and cutting yourself slack are so wise. Thank you. Sometimes we need to think outside the box to what our other talents might be to allow us to work part-time. I never thought I would be in education. It’s been a huge blessing!

    • Amy, thanks for your kind words. When I get discouraged or want to throw in the towel, I have to remind myself that this is an amazing opportunity. I love your advice of trying new things, and being open to new experiences. Congrats on your move to education – it sounds as if it is a great fit.

  2. I can absolutely relate. After working for a company I loved, I went back and forth between full time and part time because I wanted to work, but be there for my family as well. Finding balance was more of a struggle than I thought it would be. I was always thankful to be able to work in some capacity while having the ability to care for my family, but sometimes it got a little tricky. It really is a day to day process, and some days just flow much better than others!

  3. Great article Kim on a topic many of us Moms struggle with. For me the most challenging part was leaving a career where I was always striving (and moving) to the next level in management. Whereas in part-time I am learning to be happy with status quo. On the flip side I am lucky to able to be with my kids as I wish, which I try to remember is my main priority 🙂 Thanks for the post!

  4. Lindsay, I definitely agree. The worst thing we all do it beat ourselves up about whatever choice we decide. On maternity leave, I read “Lean In” and felt confused and inspired at the same time

  5. loved the article Kim! Thanks for your honesty and willing to share. Great tips!! You sound like an amazing mom.

  6. Great article! I am a soon to be Mom (due end of October), and plan to go back to work after maternity leave. I want to work and enjoy working, but am nervous about my new role and balancing both well. I know this isn’t a new thing for Moms, and Moms do it everyday, which I have to say many make it look effortless, but of course as with all change it’s challenging at first until you find your groove and what works for you and your family. I appreciate the honesty in this article and can relate to it very much as I enter this new role, as it is all things I have thought about/debate about in my head. Kim – I’m also a Texas gal living here in Scottsdale (born and raised in Dallas), but went to college north of the border. Boomer! 😉 I love connecting with fellow Texans here in AZ, and would love to connect with you!

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