I haven’t been a mom very long.  Less than 18 months.

When I joined the ranks as an At Home Mom, I aspired to maintain our home as a place of order and peace. 

i.e.,  To keep it clean. 

Then the baby turned into a toddler.  A fast, curious toddler. We call him “The Lidless Blender.”

Fellow Moms of Littles:

Please, someone, tell me you’ve been there…

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The {Previous} Daily Scene 

1 PM: the 1 year old’s Glorious Nap Time.

The House: A Bonafide Wreck.

The Mom: Type-A though she is, finds herself torn between Bone Weary and Duty Bound.

“I so want to sit down…….. but I really should clean…”

And so – with a sigh – I grit my teeth and dig in.
This nap affords me precious little time to make this place shine, which means moving at warp speed and breaking a sweat that should warrant canceling my gym membership.

In a blur, I stash toys, shoes, laundry and dishes.  I fiendishly wipe down countertops, tabletops, appliances, and finger-smudged windows.  With eyes flashing, I dry mop the hardwoods and vacuum the carpets before giving the guest bath a quick once-over.

Refusing sustenance but pausing briefly to wipe my brow, I check the clock:
He’ll be awake soon…

I have to hurry and sit down!

But “No!” I instead load up the paraphernalia that magically migrated downstairs and haul it up, dumping it haphazardly on our bed ~ which incidentally needs to be made.  Backing away from the pile momentarily, I turn my attention to the master bath.  In the interest of time, I decide Windex is antimicrobial enough this time around, and every dang surface gets a dose of it.  Drop a Clorox tab in the toilet, and call it a done deal.

Back to the pile on the bed… Fling it into two piles… baby stuff, our stuff…
and then I hear him.
He’s awake.
I’m not finished.

And I’m mad because, once again, I never sat down.

Worse yet?
…I have a sinking feeling that this will all be destroyed in T minus 10 minutes.

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Confession: I can’t do it, you guys.

I love an orderly home as much as the next mom, but seriously.
If you’re anything like me, when your busy toddler goes down, the introvert in you craves her few precious minutes to read or rest or just Be.
(Or to fire up her TiVo and watch two episodes of Modern Family.  Whatev.)

So these days, I employ:

The 20 Minute Trick

It’s exactly as it sounds.  And it’s awesome.
Ready for this complex formula?

The Blender goes down for his nap.
My oven timer gets set for 20 minutes.
I clean like crazy until it dings.
And then?
I stop!

I pour myself an iced coffee and head for the hammock with my latest book.

What a concept! 

As simple as it is, by shifting my mental goal from “having a house that shines” to “cleaning nonstop for 20 minutes”, two important things can happen:

1) I can sit down guilt-free, having successfully met my goal.
I have permission to recharge, and instead of seeing only what didn’t get accomplished, I’m amazed at what a difference I made in 20 minutes!

~ and of infinitely greater value ~

2) When nap time is over and my precious boy calls out for me… instead of feeling annoyed, I’m refreshed.  Even joyful to see him!  I feel strangely free to spend time playing on the floor instead of half-heartedly managing him as I attempt a few more to-do’s.
Moreover, my joy extends to Dad, for he no longer arrives home to a burned out wife and her begrudged, never-quite-finished list of chores.

Do deeper cleans happen?  Of course — but they don’t drive the daily grind.  And when those days roll around, I find I don’t even mind them because tomorrow won’t be a repeat.  I hopped off the hamster wheel.

My selfish inclination is to find worth in my stuff and how it looks.
But my son needs a joyful mom, and my husband needs a peaceful wife.

Some things are just more important than having a perfect house.