I know we are all in the same boat as moms these days. Life is hectic, crazy and downright exhausting. As a mom there are so many people we have to make sure get fed, dressed, bathed, off to school, to extra activities, into bed early, up in time in the morning and all without killing each other and their siblings.
The to do lists are LONG. The hours in the days seem SHORT. It’s so easy to get to the end of a day/week/month/year and to realize that you’ve forgotten one important thing in the shuffle of it all.
I’m sure we all can relate. You know how easy it can be to be married, working alongside one another to take care of the kids and the house, but not really connecting. Working on our marriage is something that Jason and I have to continually put forth a large effort into doing. It’s not always easy, but we have realized how truly important it is.
Here are a few tips that we try to focus on as a married couple. All of these come in seasons and none of it is perfect. We are still learning and growing just like all of you! But these are a few things that I try to focus on and remember as I’m trying to make and keep my marriage a priority. Even among the chaos.
1. Make Your Marriage a Mental Priority
I know in the chaos of being a mom is VERY mentally challenging sometimes. There is a lot to think about, a lot to plan, and SO MUCH TO PRIORITIZE. BUT. Isn’t my marriage worth more than that?
Sometimes I have to make my marriage a mental priority. Meaning, I have to put forth a large effort to making sure I go the extra mile to communicate to him that I love him, care for him and still value him as my best friend. It’s all about being intentional with the little things and making a plan to do them, even if they don’t seem to fit naturally in your day anymore.
It can be a quick text, a note on the bathroom mirror, a phone call, a kiss, a small gift- ANYTHING. Your marriage will only benefit from making it a priority each day.
2.Take Care of Yourself
This can be in whatever way is best for you. For me, it’s getting dressed and putting my makeup on every single day, even if I’m staying home. It helps me to FEEL pretty, even if it’s a terrible day. Every morning that I choose to get ready and take care of myself first, I’m making myself a priority. It makes me feel good and confident about myself which is important too.
It will look different for all of us. It might be weekly pedicures, or quiet time at a coffee shop once a week, or reading a book during nap time. Or it might be getting your hair done, visiting your mom, or taking a nap to catch up on rest. Whatever it may be, it’s important to invest in YOU. Giving yourself breaks- even mentally, will equip you with the ability to take better care of your marriage and family than when you’re run down and feeling empty.
3. Date Nights
This one should be a no brainer! BUT IT’S HARD. Making to time to date still is challenging when your calendar is busting at the seams already. The good news? It doesn’t have to be extravagant!
You could go grab dinner out. Jason and I just tried 5th and Wine in Downtown Scottsdale and it was AWESOME. You could just go to Barnes and Noble, browse the books together and grab a coffee. OR you could order in take out and catch up on Netflix. It doesn’t matter.
What matters is you’re together, you’re having fun, hopefully relaxing, and remembering to enjoy one another. Before Jason and I had kids, we had a lot of fun together. Why should that change after we had kids? Truth is, it SHOULDN’T. We just have to get creative with what our date nights look like now, and we can’t ALWAYS go out when we have little ones to put to bed. But we find a good balance and make it work.
Stay tuned for THREE MORE TIPS I have for how I work to make my marriage a priority… coming soon!
In the meantime, what are some things YOU do to make your marriage or relationship a priority? I’d love to learn from YOU too!