Definition of multi-task: the concurrent performance of several jobs by one person; the performance of multiple tasks at one time.
If you would like to learn how to be a pro at multitasking, have a baby and go back to work!
Like many working moms, I carry around the guilt about spending precious hours in the day working, instead of doing art projects and play dates.
Instead of playing “tea parties” and dress-up, I work. I count on my husband to take on key parenting duties mutually with me and “let someone else raise my children” when I work.
If you ask a working mom how she’s doing you probably will be lied to. We’ll say “I’m doing great”, but the response in our head is more like this:
“I’m busier than I have ever been in my entire life. I wake up to spend a precious hour with my child, gulp multiple cups of coffee while thinking about work. The nanny comes, I scurry to send some work emails out, pay a bill, and power through a chaotic day, worry about what’s for dinner, brush miniature teeth and bribe a child to take a bath, send more work emails out and crash into my pillow thinking about work and feeling guilty that I am not spending enough time with my daughter.”
Like a lot of working moms, there are days or weeks when I feel guilty and completely overwhelmed. I worry about the decisions I made, but also knowing the path I chose was the right one for my family.
As this Mother’s Day approached I started to think about how my mom (who also was a working mom) handled the guilt, stress and struggles of “doing it all”. She must have done something right; after all, I never felt inadequate as a child with a working mom, or never felt less fortunate to have a working mom. Actually quite the contrary – I felt proud to have such a strong working mom and always strived to be like her in some ways.
I recently sat down with my mom to get some advice on raising children while being a working mom and I wanted to share them with you:
What is the best parenting advice to give to working moms?
Prioritize your time and when you are home forget work and enjoy your family!
What’s the one thing you would have done differently as a working mom?
Not to bring all my work problems home and listen more to the children and their issues.
Why did you choose to go back to work?
To build a career and to see if I could achieve my goals I wanted for myself and family. To try to “do it all”!
Do you think it is easier or harder to be a working mom now?
I think it is easier now with more tools for healthy carry-out food, mom support groups, and more modern spouses helping out.
What words come to mind when you think back on being a working mom?
Family first. Careers second.
How did you manage the busy schedule that included wife, mom, and entrepreneur?
I had a great spouse to help out and also a good listener to vent to. But I honestly don’t know how I survived it all! I look back and sometimes think, “How did I do it”? There were nights I even said some prayers to help me with reading books at bedtime, when all I wanted to do was collapse on my bed!
Any relationship tips you can offer to other working moms?
Date nights at least once a week, even if this means sneaking on patio for a glass of wine when kids go to bed!
What is the one guilt you have being a working mom?
I bought a lot of material gifts for you guys, like toys, clothes and games. I look back and think I “over-gifted” because I was trying to curb my guilt. If I were to do it over again, I now see the value of a simple hug, reading a book or just spending time together.
What values or advice do you have as a working mom? Do you have any regrets choosing to go back to work?
It’s so difficult to “leave work at home” when our entire lives come together on our iPhone–even if I wanted to check out, an e-mail would come through that would distract me from playing with a doll house or listening to Barney. I struggle with taking a break from my multiple roles as full-time employee, mom and full-time blogger…oh yea…wife, too! That one suffers the most. I think the most important thing is to remind your children of why you do what you do and when they’re old enough–they’ll appreciate it. My husband’s mom stayed home and he doesn’t remember her being around just like I don’t remember my mom who worked forty plus hours a week not being home! I think as kids, we’re blissfully unaffected.
Thank you Vanessa for your comment. You are so right, thank goodness our kids are so resilient. I truely believe it’s the moments we make not the time we take doing them. What I mean is, they (we) remember the moments, memories, events most of the time and not the time in between. Keep up the hard work and know you are not alone out there!
There are times when I get crazy busy and I regret that I am spending less time with my children. Luckily I have children that let me know that and I instantly begin taking back our family time. We only have a short time(18 years seems so short to me now) to have this one on one quality time. Providing for my family is important but so is the time I spend with them. I make sure that I leave work at the computer, I have strick business hours and I don’t answer my phone or emails during our family time. My family needs to know that I place them before a job or money. Do I regret starting my own business…nope…do I wish I knew how to control my time better when I first started…YES….but its gotten easier now and I have learned how to balance and family in a much better way.
Hey there Jolie! Thank you for your comment! You do a fantastic job at the balance, and I know this personally! I admire how you have the balance down so elegantly! xoxox
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